I will never stop telling our dear Aliza Rose’s terrible, soul-shattering, and gut-wrenching tragedy. She died suddenly when she was only 8 days old. Despite the fact that it wasn’t a planned pregnancy, I was overjoyed to find out I was having my first child. I learned that she was a girl from a gender reveal with a Christmas theme, so I chose to call her Aliza from The Wild Thornberrys. I was just ecstatic.
I had a difficult pregnancy and went into early labor in February 2018. Thank goodness, the physicians could halt it. The early contractions were frightening because they would have meant an early delivery – 10 weeks ahead of schedule – and a lengthy stay in the neonatal intensive care unit. Fortunately, the medication the physicians prescribed prevented her from being harmed during the contractions.
Although her due date was May 16, 2018, she chose to arrive on May 12, 2018, at 11:52 p.m. After more than 19 hours of labor, I underwent an emergency C-section because I was terrified that her head had become lodged in the birth canal. I was afraid and didn’t want to be cut open.
But when the time came, although I was terrified, I was also just so excited to meet her.
When I first saw her and heard her cry, I sobbed. I fell madly in love with my ideal baby right away. Aliza was 8 pounds, 8 ounces, and stunningly lovely. Throughout the first fifteen minutes of her existence, she was perfectly healthy.
Aliza was born happy and healthy, but then the HSV-1 virus attached to her spine, eating her lungs and brain.
I didn’t mind people hugging her before she got sick, but I didn’t want anyone to kiss her. To be honest, I was scared about everything as a new mother, but I wasn’t even considering the possibility that kids could contract the HSV-1 virus. She initially displayed symptoms, such as low blood sugar, lack of appetite, and lack of energy, about 36 hours after her delivery.
She started to grow severely sick at the end of the second day and needed to be transferred to a bigger hospital.
I could do was cry, pray, beg God to save my baby, and fight for doctors to take me and my concerns seriously.
Her sugar was initially only considered a problem by the doctors, who didn’t give it any thought. When she stopped eating and refused to get out of bed, I realized something was wrong. When she first started getting sick, I could tell there was a problem, but nobody would listen, and the doctors didn’t start treating it seriously until I lost it.
Because of all the fluid accumulating in her lungs, she began to swell. Her lungs and brain swelled to the point where her chest veins were visible.
They didn’t finally diagnose her with HSV-1 until three days before we had to pull the plug.
The common cold sore virus is another name for the HSV-1 virus. It kills almost 14,000 newborns annually, but no one ever talks about it. This was the most horrible and terrible thing I have ever encountered, I assure you. Because the cold sore virus is so widespread, I was aware of it, but I had never heard of babies contracting it, and I had no idea that it might be lethal.
The horrifying aspect of the HSV-1 virus is that it can infect anyone and cause no symptoms at all. Newborns younger than two weeks old can die from this infection, and occasionally even older newborns can. Although they are unsure of the precise time she contracted it, doctors may say it happened on either her first or second day of life.
It kills me to know that someone I loved killed my only child.
Aliza either contracted it from a carrier who kissed her or from someone who neglected to wash their hands.
For those first two days, the only people who held her were me, Tyler, and a few close friends. We warned others who were feeling nauseous not to come too close to her face. In retrospect, I really believe that I didn’t voice my concerns about being strict and not kissing as much as I could have because I didn’t want to annoy anyone – a sentiment I believe many new mothers share. However, they shouldn’t because the outcomes might be lethal.
The virus is so widespread that there’s no way to ever find out who transmitted it to her. Although there is a part of me that wishes to know who it was, I can’t because I would never be able to forgive them. I would always hate them so much since they took my baby’s life.
At first, we still had hope, despite her diagnosis.
On May 19, the doctors informed us that although they didn’t think she would recover, she still might. I inquired if there was fake hope or genuine hope, and they said that there was the former. I clung to that, then.
However, she was having difficulty breathing, so they had to give her oxygen. She eventually had so many tubes and pieces of equipment in place that it was impossible to even know she was a newborn. In addition to making her less comfortable, the medication they gave her ended up giving her convulsions.
Her condition fluctuated suddenly and erratically. My best efforts to ensure her survival were insufficient, despite my greatest efforts.
The next day she was declared brain-dead and I held her as her heart stopped beating.
The infection needed six and a half days to utterly demolish her body. I used to go in and spend some time with her, just sitting there as I watched her on these machines and felt like throwing up.
I listened to her go and sing “You Are My Sunshine.”. This is simply soul-shattering, which is the only way to put it. The nurses’ voices are still resounding in my mind, informing me that she has passed away. The illness consumed her brain and lungs, leaving her unable to breathe.
I can’t go a day without thinking about her. I think about my plump, cheerful, cheeky Aliza every day.
I decided to share our story because more people need to know about this so we can save more babies.
Aliza didn’t die in vain if she was able to save even one infant. Contrary to popular belief, the sexually transmitted herpes virus (HSV-2) is distinct from the HSV-1 virus, meaning that you can unintentionally be a carrier even if you do not have the STD. Please share our story and refrain from kissing babies to help us save additional lives. Never kiss a newborn or infant, and always wash your hands before handling them.